It seemed like an eternity since the receptionist had replaced the handset of her phone and told the four agents to “take a seat over there, Mr Cowell will be with you shortly”
Carlos had discreetly activated his C.U.R.L so that Agent Eff could listen in on the situation, occasionally asking questions to which Carlos answered with a quiet yes or no. He held a magazine in front of him just be sure no one could see.
Seb had his S.H.A.D.E.S on, he had found quite by accident that tapping the other side of the frame switched a camera on. So he had been busily recording images of everything he thought might be important. He had also discovered that by sitting close to Carlos, the C.U.R.L had linked up to his S.H.A.D.E.S and was sending a live link back to HQ.
The draw back to this was that some observers thought they were sitting a little too close. And when a rather effeminate young man stopped, smiled and winked at them they sprang apart so fast the link was broken and Agent Eff was 2 minutes from sending a back up team to get them out.
When the link was restored the first thing Agent Eff saw was David & Urs crying with laughter, saying things like “Well a pull is a pull Carlos” and “You do keep saying you’re tired of being single” and “As long as they have a pulse isn’t that what you said?”
Carlos puffed, huffed, pouted and stood with his hands firmly on his hips. Which didn’t help.
“Oh calm down darling” said Seb, and he patted the seat next to him “Come and sit back down by me. Ignore those two ruffians sitting there”
Carlos reluctantly sat back down and Seb squeezed his knee. “There you go Tiger, no need to be such a stroppy pants is there?”
Carlos glared at Seb but said nothing. He could hear a very strange noise in his ear. A noise that sounded very much like a dog laughing it’s head off.
When David had composed himself he nonchalantly fiddled with his Ear R.I.N.G switching it on to see if he could locate Simon Cowell. A buzz of noise eventually settled into a single male voice. “Subject is on the Top Floor” a computerized voice in his head announced. The Ear R.I.N.G worked by a mix of computer technology and human mind power. To use it David had been told to concentrate on the Alien he wished to locate and use only thought to speak to the device itself.
To the outside world it looked like he was merely catching a nap whilst he waited to be seen.
“Subject is entering an elevator” “Subject is descending in the elevator” David opened an eye “Cowell is on the move” he said quietly “I think he’s coming down to see us himself”
Carlos raised the magazine a little higher and said “Cowell is going to see us in person What do we do?”
Agent Eff cursed. That wasn’t supposed to happen. No matter, these were trained Agents they could handle it. He hoped. “Play it by ear, it’s all you can do. And keep calm”
“What did they say?” asked Urs
“Keep calm and carry on” replied Carlos.
“Subject has reached the top of the staircase” said the voice of the R.I.N.G
Four pairs of eyes swivelled in the direction of the ornate staircase, three pairs of eyes saw a dark haired, ordinary looking man dressed in black T-Shirt and jeans that reached his armpits start to descend the stairs. One pair of eyes jumped out of their sockets, bounced against the S.H.A.D.E.S in front of them and beat a hasty retreat as far back inside their owner as it was possible to go.
Which had the overall effect of making their owner feel very queasy.
Seb was speechless, totally, utterly speechless. His S.H.A.D.E.S let him see Simon Cowell’s true form and it was hideous. In fact it defied any description that could possibly be written here. It was as if all the darkest evil in the world had manifested itself in one place.
The others turned from looking at the ordinary Simon Cowell that they could see and looked at Seb. “Oh my God!” whispered Carlos. All the colour had drained from Seb’s face and his body was rigid with fear, instinctively Carlos ripped the S.H.A.D.E.S from Seb’s face and stuffed them in his pocket.
Seb stumbled back a couple of steps and David moved forward to steady him. “Seb are you okay?”
He looked at David with a blank expression “I saw..I saw..”
Cowell was getting closer, Carlos rapidly explained the situation to Agent Eff who told him to give Seb some water.
There was a vending machine close by so Urs hurried over to get a bottle of water from it. He stuck his hands in his pocket but he had no change “Oh hell!” he muttered to himself. Cowell was still advancing on the group. G.L.O.V.E.S he thought suddenly and without thinking put both hands on the vending machine door.
The door flew open and all the trays of bottled water sprang out and went flying in every direction.
The ensuing chaos as people slipped on bottles that were rolling on the floor or ducked to avoid being hit by ones that were hurtling through the air lasted long enough for Seb to regain his composure, and for Carlos to return his S.H.A.D.E.S without Cowell noticing.
Urs stood looking shocked for a moment, before picking up two bottles and walking back over to his fellow agents. “Still or Sparkling?” he asked.
Simon Cowell had not got himself the title of Evil Genius for nothing. The effect Urs had on the vending machine had not escaped his notice, and neither had Seb’s reaction to seeing him. He had also noticed Carlos giving Seb his S.H.A.D.E.S back and that David kept messing with his ear.
Humans he thought with contempt they must think I was born yesterday. MIB must be really desperate if they’ve sent in this bunch of clowns. They are no match for me. I could erase them from existence with a single thought. In fact I could erase this entire, putrid planet in a single thought.
And if I really stopped and thought about it..
IF YOU REALLY STOPPED AND THOUGHT ABOUT IT…WHAT? Said a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once but could only be heard by Cowell. He stopped in his tracks. He’d forgotten about HIM. Or tried to. Because no matter how big a fish you think you are, however much you think you are at the top of the food chain, there is always someone bigger and nastier than you are. And Cowell had made the mistake of really peeing that “person” off. Which is why he was here on Earth. Hiding. Or trying to. All he wanted to do was to make a new life for himself. Go about some mildly evil business with no one bothering him. Maybe he shouldn’t destroy these MIB Agents. Maybe he could use them to negotiate a deal with HIM and stay here on Earth. Maybe they might help him persuade Agent Gee to forget that little incident all those years ago.
A germ of an idea began to formulate in Cowell’s mind and by the time he reached the little group he was positively beaming. “Good Afternoon Gentlemen. I’m Simon Cowell. Who are you?”
“We’re Il Divo” they chorused for the second time that day.
Cowell grinned from ear to ear “Of course you are. Of course you are. Please, follow me”.